is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
