Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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