His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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