I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I have fence marks all over my body
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
