last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
