You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
My butt remains clenched, sir.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
