Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
