guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
