Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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