garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
