i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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