i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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