Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
