why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
