In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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