party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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