he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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