it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize