i just wanna soil my oats bro
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
