I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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