I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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