Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
