And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
im holly from the hills drunk
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize