FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
