i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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