I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
