Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
we made out on top of his cat.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
