I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
