"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
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