Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
