3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
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