Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Randomize
