Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
