She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
