No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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