GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
