if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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