just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Redeem this text for a blowjob
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
