you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
