well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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