Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
high people should be assigned attendants
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
