in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
