We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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