playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
