craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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