in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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