Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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