So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
