I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
So vagazzling was a success
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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