you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Those nachos came to me in a dream
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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