tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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