fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
