my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize