Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Randomize
