Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize