the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
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