...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Randomize