i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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