Rock
Scissors
Fuck
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
