Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(480): View more from Arizona

get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch

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(217): View more from Illinois

My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.

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(212): View more from New York

Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"

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(410): View more from Maryland

a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out

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(317): View more from Indiana

im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.

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(650): View more from California

Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"

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(914): View more from New York

I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone

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