I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
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