I bet he comes in French.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Randomize
