You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
