This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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