Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
